The End is Now

Yes I am alive. 

Over the last 2 weeks I've faced, and learnt a few things about myself.

1) I'm a total loser.

2) I'm probably never going to achieve my goals and ambitions in life.

3) I've wasted 2 valuable years where I should have been studying regularly, trying to have "fun".

4) I'm surrounded by amazing people who I totally do not deserve.

5) I'm pretty sure that come next week my whole life will be decided for me.

Just to warn everyone here. If things do not turn out the way I hope, I'm pretty sure I'll become a pretty different person. It's true that I have no one else to blame but myself. But that realization does not help ANYTHING. I'll be a broken shell. So please. No sympathy, no "oh it'll be OK", and DEFINITELY no "don't worry". I'm pretty sure I should be worrying, and regretting about the things I could have and should have done. 

You see that point (4) up there? That's what I want to talk about now. Firstly, my amazing parents. They've stood by me during this prelims period, where bouts of insecurity and inferiority hit me. My mother especially has always been around with a comforting word. They've both helped me with my studies, especially my dad, who came home early from work a few days just to shore up my confidence more than anything else.

My sister. She didn't help much academics wise, but she was around when I needed to talk about anything other that P,C,M, or E. I've fought a lot with her, but I do love her.

Miss Kwan. Thank god that I've been blessed with a great teacher like Miss Kwan. Twice I smsed her unable to contain my anxiety about how badly my prelim grades will affect my uni applications. Twice she sent me comforting smses that, if not anything, ensured that I kept working hard. 

Mr Hsi. Another blessing in disguise. Those smses before both Math papers helped me greatly. Thank you sir. I've said the rest in the card. XD

Shreya. What can I say other than, THANK YOU for being around. 

Other friends. You guys might not realize it, but every time you made me smile, it took my mind off my screwed up future. 

God Bless All of You. It doesn't matter that all your efforts on this boy seem destined for failure. I'll never forget ALL of you. 

Cheers.

Its a Funny World

Hello all.

And yes, I'm not dead yet. Call me back in 2 weeks and check. I might be.

These prelims are seriously freaking me out. I know I HAVE to do well to stand a chance of achieving my goals in life. But the way the teachers talk about prelims being set to be difficult is scaring me. The A-level papers honestly do not seem difficult. Prelims are scaring me to hell. I sincerely believe my chemistry and mathematics might be fine. Physics too, considering that TJC physics papers aren't as bad as chem or maths. I'm FREAKED out about Economics. I've NEVER done well, and I thought last years promos was alright. Gah. Nothing to do but just study hard and pray I guess.

This is going to be random. Some people have questioned why I want to go into Naval Architecture and Marine Engineering.Take a look at this. Some of you might remember this. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_submarine_Kursk_explosion.
In short, a Russian submarine got completely destroyed due to some poor maintenance and some human error. 118 men died. Can you imagine dying in a submarine? All alone? Underwater? Waiting for the air to slowly run out? These men were soldiers, but they didn't die on the battlefield. They died a horrible death, on the ocean floor. And what made is worse is the stupid ego that the country had. Russia didn't allow rescue teams from foreign countries to even try! This was the first transcript that Russia publicized. The first fax to press corps was, "the submarine had minor technical difficulties". PFFFFFFFT. You know what a minor technical difficulty is? A faulty school OHP. Have you a seen a faulty projector KILL PEOPLE? I want to be able to help these guys, whether its submarines, or ships, not something far better. Stranded in the open sea, waiting for sharks or fatigue is pretty scary too. I might not do much, but at least I'm willing to try make a difference.

Well time to get back to mugging. But here's something HILARIOUS. Its the new discovery channel ad called "Boom De Ah Dah!" HAHA. Watch and enjoy. Adam setting fire to Jamie is priceless. This is a little different from the one on TV.



Cheers all.











"I candy coat and cover everything that I'm still hiding underneath.
It's been a long time, it's been a long time.
A thousand faces looking up at me hands are pointing ceiling oh what a feeling.

I've got friends in highly low places
I'll stand up push it and push it up, can't afford to lose now.
I've got friends in highly low places
I'll go inside when I wanna party, grab a girl and dance (don't touch me)."

INJUSTICE

I'm blogging today because I am totally outraged about the way Liu Xiang the Chinese hurdler is being treated.

For those who do not know the story, Liu Xiang was China's poster boy for this Olympics, and possibly their only hope for winning a gold in the track and field competitions. But he injured his Achilles tendon (I think, don't flame me for getting the body part wrong) right before his heats and had to pull out. Now the Chinese public are both disappointed and angry, and it has been blown completely out of proportion with some people saying that he purposely pulled out because he was scared. He's been labelled a "Coward", "Traitor" and what not. BY BLOODY ARMCHAIR CRITICS. The Strait Times has a excerpt of a HOUSEWIFE, calling him a LOSER. WTF.

Even though I may not even come CLOSE to the level of sports that can be witnessed at the 2008 Olympics, I would like to consider myself a sportsman for the context of this argument. I AM COMPLETELY HONOURED to even play for my SCHOOL, and if I ever get a chance (FAT HOPE) to compete in the Olympics, I'd most probably die of shock. So its really unfair to say that Liu Xiang might have pulled out because he was scared. All those bloody critics deserve to be shot in the head and left to rot. Liu Xiang is an athlete through and through, and I'm sure he would have run if he was fine. STUPID people who don't understand the extent of his injury, ought to know that running with a swollen Achilles tendon can end his career forever. He's young and he surely has at least 2 more Olympics ahead of him. Giving it all up just for the sake of STUPID, UNGRATEFUL people (who I'd feel embarrassed to call MY PEOPLE) is dumb. Get stuffed you idiots.

That's enough of ranting. These Olympics have had amazing moments, like Michael Phelps becoming the first athlete to get 8 Golds in a single Games, and the sheer audacity with which Ussain Bolt won the 100m Men's final. But the Chinese people expect too much from mere humans who have done no wrong other than be good at what they do. If that continues, these athletes will lose the passion they have for their sport and might even consider early retirement to escape the public eye.

Cheers.

I AM NOT DEAD.

Like the title says, I LIVEEEEEE.

But not for long. Not after tomorrow morning, assembly. When me and Joey need to get on stage and talk about Singapore's Silver medal. WITHOUT KNOWING WHY IN GOD'S NAME WE GOT SELECTED. MISS KWAN IS EVILLLLLLLLLL. XD

So yes, this is just a post to reassure people that I'm still alive, so you guys can put those party decorations down, and tell those event management companies that the party's been cancelled. Although I really wouldn't mind people partying at my funeral. Lol. More fun than coming there and crying. Or pretending to cry.

Anyway back to the things that matter. Prelims is in EXACTLY three weeks from tomorrow, so stress is starting to take root quite deep. It will soon evolve into fright, then into paranoia, and finally FULL BLOWN INSANITY. Ok too much theatrics. People don't understand that the Prelims are funnily more important to me than the actual A-Levels. US applications people!!!

But anyway, here's the song of, um, two weeks??? You've probably heard this one OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, but here's another go! This is Viva La Vida from Coldplay. I like the album name a lot! (It's Viva La Vida or Death and All his Friends)



Well I'm out, back to that dumbass script.

Cheers.









"You'll always be a part of me,
I'm a part of you indefinitely.
Girl don't you know you can't escape me,
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby,
And we'll linger on,
time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're never gonna shake me,
ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby."

We Run From the Storm

Another one of those quiet, uneventful, reflective weeks. After a lot of thinking, deciding, redeciding, confusing, I've decided that I'll be damned if I didn't, and I'm now officially going from Grad night. Its one of those things that has made me so reflective over the last 7 days, and the Economics remedial lession today in the old TA classroom didn't help.

I've met so many AMAZING people in the last 4yrs. I saw 4, because what happened before is a chapter I don't intend to go back to. It sucked bad, and I don't want to look back. But TA has changed everything. There are so many people I admire in TA, I don't know where to start. But starting will help. So I'm putting "Operation: Don't Forget" into action. Lol. If you don't ask, I won't have to lie. =)

Now for an early Song of the Week. This one is another old one. One of my ABSOLUTE favourites when I was younger. This is a beautiful song called Breathe Easy, by BLUE. For those who don't know yet, All Rise and One Love where the first 2 albums I EVER owned in my life. So here is an amazing song.



Today was also Cricket phototaking. I SWEAR I never imagined it will ever end. But today it has. With this photo, I'll now forever just be a memory in TJC Cricket. IT IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAPPENED in this school. Period, no questions. I LOVE EVERY DUDE I've played with over the 4 years. And I'll MISS THEM LIKE HELL. I know I've said it OVER and OVER and OVER again over the past month or so. But I don't care. It means so much to me, and you might not understand, and I won't blame you.

Back to econs now.

Cheers.










"The remedy is the experience.
This is a dangerous liaison.
I say the comedy is that it's serious.
This is a strange enough new play on words.
I say the tragedy is how you're gonna spend.
The rest of your nights with the light on.
So shine the light on all of your friends,
when it all amounts to nothing in the end.

I won't worry my life away."

It Won't Be Soon Before Long

Song of the week time peeps. Sorry for the non-updates during the week. Was either too lazy or too busy to blog. Well here we go with the song. This one is a really old track by Blue, featuring Stevie Wonder and a few others. Here's Signed, Sealed Delivered! =) The video ain't great quality, but It'll do. The little random black kid is pretty funny too. haha. And I must say, THANK YOU ELSTAN, for the Maroon 5 album.



Long tiring week. Injured my back pretty bad by falling stupidly during my SBJ. Worsened it by doing the 2.4 run after. Hurts like hell. BUT PAIN MAKES YOU FEEL ALIVE. XD. Nanyang Concept Tests today morning were ok I guess. Hope to do decently.

I kinda missed the J1 boys over this one week. Don't ask me why. It's good that they'll be back after their stooopid e-learning week is over. Thats one policy thats just as bad as the Teach Less, Learn Nothing initiative. Lol.

Now for some cricket talk. India just got completely owned by Sri Lanka. All you Indian fans out there, SCREW YOU. Even New Zealand knows how to put up a better fight than that. Why put faith in a team that doesn't have faith in itself? On a lighter note, I've decided that I'm going to keep improving my pace bowling. Try to become a bit more of a hit-the-deck bowler. Haha.

Well I'm off, to infinity and BEYOND!!!!







"Go ahead tell me you'll leave again.
You'll just come back running.
Holding your scarred heart in hand,
it's all the same.

And I'll take you for who you are,
if you take me for everything.
Do it all over again.
It's all the same."


P.S. That song at the end is called All The Same, by Sick Puppies. Youtube it. I would have put it here, but the video is a little too depressing. Do check it out!

Where's Everybody Going?

Well this week it's a little different. There are TWO songs of the week. The First one is a really old song, one that I LOVED when I was younger (like primary school younger!). Here is When You're Looking Like That, by WESTLIFE!!!! XD



The second song is a peppy makes-me-want-to-get-up-and-dance song by Alyson and AJ Michalka, better known as Aly & AJ. This one is called Like Whoa. Enjoy. =)



So the 8-a-side tournament ended yesterday, and the J1s didnt get through. But its really alright boys, it doesn't matter. I know that whatever they did, they would have put their heart and soul into it. 5 wickets against ACS(I) is quite commendable! And I am quite annoyed that we didn't even get a SINGLE DSA from an application pool of 8, but its ok. I'm sure some of them will appeal in, and even if they don't TJC Cricket will still fight on. We aren't CLASSY player, or TECHNICALLY gifted players, but what we are, what we will be forever are FIGHTERS. More than any team in Singapore. And JTS on MONDAY!!! And Friday's sportsman appreciation will be the last time I can legally be with my boys.

I'm off!

Cheers.








"Life has moments hard to describe,
feeling great and feeling alive.
Never coming down from this,
mountain we're on.

Always knowing we're gonna be fine,
feeling great and feeling alive.
Never coming down from this,
mountain were on.

The feeling so clear,
and it's crazy up here,
Life is amazing with you on the ride."